allthingsfrivolous's blog

I get upset. I need to talk to someone. Anyone. Anything, even. I get upset that I can't talk. Upset upon upset.

You-n.

I don't know if you've noticed, but you've caught my eye from day one. Yes, that sounds hella cheesy, but I was strangely attracted to you the first time I laid eyes on you - perhaps even magnetically. We were sitting in a big group while Sunny gave us the lowdown on house rules, and my eyes kept flitting to you, while I hoped you didn't notice. Or at least you noticed that I was looking at you, but just enough to know that you've caught my attention and not so much that you think I'm a creep. I still don't know what it was. I mean, you had pretty interesting glasses, granted, but that's about it. I don't even remember what you were wearing. (Or was I looking at you because I felt you looking at me?)

Subsequently, my hunches were proved right. You're into photography! You're artsy! You're sensitive, observant, self-reflexive, contemplative and intuitive! One by one these traits started proving themselves. You told me that the Opera chick was weird because you couldn't tell what kind of personality she was despite conversing with her for an extended period of time, when you can normally tell how to talk to a person after 5 minutes. You think people don't make enough self-aware comments. You wish your superpower was mind-reading. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. I know this sounds like bull, but I feel like on a fundamental level we are very similar. The way we assess people and the world are very close.

It is too bad that we don't have too many common interests. Of course, if you were attracted to me and too felt compelled to take it up to the next level, I'd be more than glad to learn to like your likes. I guess in one sense of the word, I don't have any real basis to LIKE you. (Because I think real liking is mutual.) You were pretty nice about me being ill, but then that might just be guilt. You haven't seemed to exhibit the same degree of concern to Sass, but that might be because I just wasn't around to witness you doing so. You seem to be touching me a whole lot more: brushing my fingers while I hand you something, digressing from the group conversation to talk to me personally (but maybe that's only because I seat myself close to you), playfully kicking me (gosh that sounds so wrong) or brushing your wet arm on my sleeve. But you might just be being playful and friendly, who's to know?

The only thing I can be sure is that you trust that I am sympathetic enough to tell me about your sad, heartbreaking love story, and even then who's to know if you merely needed some release?

From what you've told me, the way you like her is pretty different from the way I like you. I don't like you only because I find your artsiness and contemplativeness deadly sexy, but because I know, I simply know that on some fundamental but deeply-rooted level, we are alike.

I don't know. I wish I had the chance to prove my attraction to you wrong/right. If it's wrong, I'm gonna back off. Take Khairi. I was only attracted to him when I saw him doodling. That, is superficial. I was attracted to you by NOTHING. So don't take it the wrong way. Don't take me to be a superficial, besotted chick like whatshername who fawns all over you speaking French. I think it's cool that you're into photography, but if you weren't I would've still been attracted to you, because I was already.